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genealogy of the Bird and Musgrove families
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DO’s and DONT’s of finding your birth mother

I realise each and every adoption case is entirely different but there are common threads and lessons which I certainly learnt and hope that I can perhaps pass these on to at least one person out there.

I joined the excellent adoption discussion group on Family Tree Forum (http://www.familytreeforum.com/forumdisplay.php/8-Adoption-Reunion) and found a group of individuals who I could bounce thoughts and idea's off.

When I was starting out I read about the experiences of others and it was obvious that everyone had different tales and there was no ‘right’ way of doing things. A lot is down to luck, but you can weight that ‘luck’ in your favour by following a few very basic rules :

  • Don’t build up your hopes and you will never be disappointed.

  • There is no template of the right or the wrong way.

  • When you do get the opportunity to make contact, remember, you usually only get one shot at it.

  • Give them your story without asking for anything in return. Any information you get back from them must be voluntarily given without conditions.

  • Never be confrontational and always give them a get out but at the same time leave the door open.



return to “I was adopted over 50 years ago ……".


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