Histories: DO’s and DONT’s of finding your birth mother

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DO’s and DONT’s of finding your birth mother

I realise each and every adoption case is entirely different but there are common threads and lessons which I certainly learnt and hope that I can perhaps pass these on to at least one person out there.

I joined the excellent adoption discussion group on Family Tree Forum (http://www.familytreeforum.com/forumdisplay.php/8-Adoption-Reunion) and found a group of individuals who I could bounce thoughts and idea's off.

When I was starting out I read about the experiences of others and it was obvious that everyone had different tales and there was no ‘right’ way of doing things. A lot is down to luck, but you can weight that ‘luck’ in your favour by following a few very basic rules :

Don’t build up your hopes and you will never be disappointed.

There is no template of the right or the wrong way.

When you do get the opportunity to make contact, remember, you usually only get one shot at it.

Give them your story without asking for anything in return. Any information you get back from them must be voluntarily given without conditions.

Never be confrontational and always give them a get out but at the same time leave the door open.

return to “I was adopted over 50 years ago ……".

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